将来は東京で働きたい。
広げすぎた人脈と友達から正直逃げたい。
関西で黒歴史を作りすぎた。
もう2年以上は住めない。
というより、
大学入ってから友達をつくっては
やめ、つくってはやめ
と最悪なことをしてしまった。
バイトや国際寮、サークル、昔の友達
すべて変わってしまった。
何が原因だったのか。
最近は、これに悩んでいた。
自分から遠ざけていた。
比較してしまう癖
嘘を言う癖
そして
友達がいなくなった。
高校の友達や小学校の友達
バイトや大学の友達とは
正直会いたくない。
振り返れば、己がどれほど
恥ずかしいことをしてきたか分からない。
生徒会でも
いつも迷惑をかけて助けてもらった。
だから、次会うときは
成長した姿を見てもらえるように
私は自分に厳しく
東京で心と体を鍛えたい。
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